After a while though – and after spending the money, their mental load stress lessened. Did it solve all of their problems? Of course not! But it did lighten their loads a bit, and more importantly, they each experienced a valuable mindset shift and realised the importance of prioritising themselves.
One woman I gave money to, Katrina, spent it on a weekend away – and by being absent she wasn’t thinking about the household. She told me that the money helped her live in the moment rather than fixating on additional expenses. When she returned home her partner had made sure the house was cleaned, the fridge stocked and laundry put away.
Once we get clear on our mental load spending [where we spend mental energy on], we can use our mental load strategically. Sometimes we need to outsource help to get there. Sometimes we need selfcare, sometimes both.
And actually, what the research shows is that the more empowered women are and the more educated they are – this gives them more access to the labour market and then in turn, they have more equal divisions of housework. Their relationships are better and men do better.
So when we think about empowering women, it isn’t just for their benefit, but for all of us.
