Leah Ruppanner, a professor of sociology at the University of Melbourne in Australia, and author of the book Drained, explains that there’s not one form of mental load, however, but eight different types. From “magic making” to “meta-care”, she says many of these are “boundaryless” and enduring. While men are taking on more at home, women are still overwhelmingly burdened by this hidden work, which can often result in burnout.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. When we recognise that sharing this mental work benefits our health, wellbeing and relationships, it could also help encourage more couples to advocate for a more balanced relationship.
In the interview below, she speaks to BBC senior health correspondent Melissa Hogenboom about how societal expectations and norms contribute to the mental load.
First of all, Leah – there’s now a lot more awareness of the mental load, so how do you define it?
It’s when your thinking has this emotional layer, that’s why it’s so draining. It can sometimes bring you positive emotions when things go well, but the mental load can be the opposite – it can be emotional thinking work where you’re constantly ruminating and it doesn’t have an end. You don’t take your washing with you on the walk around the neighbourhood, but you’re taking that mental load with you.
Despite growing awareness and willingness by men to help, women still take on a disproportionate amount of the cognitive work needed to keep a home running.
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