I sat on the kitchen floor with that recipe box in my lap like it was evidence in a case I didn’t know I was investigating.
“For when you’re alone, make chicken soup.”
“For when you’re alone, make apple slices and peanut butter.”
“For when you’re alone, make toast and eat it standing up if you can’t sit.”
Some of them were normal. Some of them were strangely specific.
“For when you’re alone, peel potatoes slowly. Don’t rush. You’re not late.”
I stared at that one until the words blurred.
Because it felt like it was aimed directly at me.
I turned the card over and saw a name written in the corner: “Marian L.”
I didn’t know who Marian was. I didn’t know who “Jim” was. I didn’t know how that recipe box ended up in a thrift store fifty minutes from my apartment. But I did know one thing: the peeler and the recipe box had come from the same place.
That’s not a magical assumption. It’s an operational one. People donate in batches. Things that lived together tend to leave together.
And that meant Marian’s kitchen had been broken down into parts and sold off for spare change.
Which, if I’m being honest, made me angry.
Not at the thrift store. Not at the process. Just… at the idea that a whole life could be reduced to a bin of “miscellaneous utensils.”
I did what I always do when something doesn’t make sense: I tried to find the system behind it.
I went back to the thrift store the next morning and asked the cashier if they tracked donations. She looked at me like I’d asked for the nuclear codes. But an older employee overheard and waved me over.
“You’re talking about the Marian stuff,” she said quietly.
My stomach dropped. “You know her?”
She nodded. “She used to volunteer here. Every Tuesday. Worked the back room. Sorted kitchenware like it was a sacred duty.”
I couldn’t speak.
“She passed a few months ago,” the employee continued. “No kids. No close family. A neighbor brought in a carload. We tried to keep it organized, but you know how it goes.”
I swallowed hard. “Did she… did she ever mention a list? A recipe box?”
The woman’s face softened. “Oh honey. Marian had lists for her lists.”
I laughed, and it came out wrong—more like a cough.
“She was the type who planned for worst-case scenarios,” the employee said. “But she was kind. Quiet. She’d leave little notes in the break room for the new hires. Stuff like ‘Drink water’ and ‘You’re doing fine.’”
I looked down at the peeler in my hands. It suddenly felt heavier.
“Why would she write ‘For when you’re alone’?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
The employee didn’t hesitate. “Because she was alone. And she didn’t want it to win.”
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