September 29, 2026

At 3:17 in the morning the police rang to tell me my husband had been killed in a crash, while he was asleep beside me with one leg over mine. The officer said: leave the room without waking the man next to you.

“This is Renwick County Highway Patrol. We need you to come and identify your husband. Cassian Pellier. His truck left the road at the retaining wall on the north expressway. The driver was d.e.a.d at the scene.”

It took me several seconds to get from the words to anything at all.

I turned my head.

Cassian was on his side with his face in the pillow and one leg over both of mine, breathing the way he has breathed next to me for six years.

“Officer, there’s been a mistake. My husband is in this bed.”

There was a silence on that line that I have never been able to describe properly.

Then the officer’s voice changed speed.

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